Stories
LANGUAGE CORNER
Contents
Mes premières nuits à Oxford
Language Corner February 2012
Language Corner December 2011
Language Corner November 2011
Language Corner September 2011
The Dutch Page in the Print Edition
Language Corner July 2011
Language Corner May 2011
Language Corner April 2011
Language Corner February 2011
Language Corner January 2011
Language Corner December 2010
Language Corner November 2010
Language Corner October 2010
Language Corner September 2010
Language Corner July/August 2010
Language Corner June 2010
Language Corner May 2010
Académie Française
April 2010
March 2010
Article no. 11
Article no. 10
A Serious Subject
Mes premières nuits à Oxford
En lisant ce titre, on imagine tout de suite les péripéties d’un étudiant qui arriverait dans cette célèbre ville à la recherche d’un logement, mais pas du tout. Je venais simplement passer une semaine visiter des amis qui venaient d’acquérir une nouvelle maison ici.
Et pour cette première nuit, il fut convenu que nous coucherions, ma compagne et moi, dans le salon sur un épais matelas pneumatique, le canapé n’étant pas convertible. Cette solution nous convenait très bien, la maison n’avait que 2 chambres : une petite pour les parents et une grande pour les enfants. Le soir venu, le gonflage du matelas s’effectua très rapidement grâce à une pompe électrique fournie avec ; un peu bruyante, mais très efficace. Mais en ôtant la pompe pour remettre le bouchon du matelas, ce dernier ayant perdu son clapet, se dégonfle très vite et s’est tout un sport de remettre ce bouchon rapidement. Quand le bouchon de trouve enfin en bonne position après plusieurs tentatives et regonflage successifs on entend avec déception le léger suintement d’une fuite... Il s’avère que ce bouchon a aussi perdu son joint d’étanchéité !
Heureusement notre hôtesse a la bonne idée de sacrifier un gant de ménage dont une large rondelle fera office de joint. La technique est bonne et après plusieurs essais le matelas a enfin pris la forme d’un bon lit moelleux et rassurant et notre première nuit peut commencer.
Mais il est peut-être 2 H du matin quand nous ressentons des douleurs un peu partout et le froid glacial du contact avec le sol... Au secours, le bateau prend l’eau !...Notre lit s’était dégonflé. Les douleurs, le froid, la situation cocasse; nous prîmes tous deux un fou rire et nous nous réfugiâmes sur le canapé blottis l’un contre l’autre, semblables à des naufragés perchés sur un ilot de fortune sec et chaud... C’était ma première nuit à Oxford.
La deuxième fut nettement mieux puisque notre hôte avait emprunté un nouveau matelas à une voisine. C’étais un matelas de luxe avec sommier ce qui mettait le couchage à 60 cm du sol ! Et en plus la pompe était intégrée à l’intérieur du matelas. Aucune manipulation à faire, le confort suprême ! Le risque principal était de tomber du navire, les bords étant arrondis et mous. Et cette nuit fut très bonne, aucun naufragé malgré un peu de houle, le navire n’avait pas pris l’eau!
Pour la troisième nuit nos hôtes avaient récupéré un canapé convertible chez des amis et il sera installé dans la chambre des enfants où les parents dormiront. Et nous récupèrerons ainsi leur chambre avec un bon lit bien traditionnel.
Fini les joies du camping, mais quels bons souvenirs...
Language Corner February 2012
I would imagine we are all the same, each New Year brings lots of hopes and apprehension and seems to be the right moment for reflections on our own life. I liked the small story below. It is short, simple and true.
Un professeur de philosophie se présente devant sa classe et il pose un grand bocal en verre sur son bureau. Puis il remplit le bocal de cailloux d’environ 7 cm de diamètre.
A philosophy teacher is facing his students in the classroom and he puts a big glass jar on his desk. Then he fills the jar up to the top with stones of about 7 cm diameter.
Il demande alors aux étudiant s’ils pensent que le bocal est rempli. Les élèves répondent que oui. Ils sont assez intrigués.
Then he asks the students if they think that the jar is full. “Yes, it is” they say. They are quite intrigued.
Le prof prend alors un sachet rempli de gravillons et le verse dans le bocal. Il agite le tout pour que le gravier remplisse tous les espaces encore vides. Puis il demande une fois encore si le bocal est maintenant bien rempli. Les étudiants sont ravis.
The teacher adds some gravel into the jar and shakes it so that every empty space is filled. Then once more he asks the students if they think that the jar is full and they answer «Yes, it is». They are delighted!
Le prof saisit alors un petit sac de sable et en verse le contenu dans le bocal. Les derniers interstices sont maintenant remplis de sable.
The teacher grabs a small bag of sand and pours it into the jar. The last gaps are now filled with sand.
"Voyez-vous", dit le prof en s'adressant à ses étudiants, "j'aimerais que vous compariez ceci à votre propre existence".
"You see", says the teacher to his students, "I would like you to make a comparison between this experiment and your own life”.
Les grosses pierres représentent les choses véritablement importantes, comme la famille, le couple, les enfants, les amis ou la santé. Ces choses qui font que même si vous perdez tout le reste, votre vie n'en demeurera pas moins remplie.
The big stones represent really important matters like your family, your partner, your children, your friends or your health. All these things which are so important that even if you lost everything else, your life would still be full.
Les gravillons représentent, quant à eux, les choses qui sont importantes, mais non essentielles, comme le travail, la maison ou la voiture.
Gravel still represents important matters but they are not so essential. It could be your work, your house or your car.
Enfin, les grains de sable peuvent être comparés aux choses sans importance.
Finally, grains of sand represent things of no importance.
Si vous commencez par mettre le sable dans le bocal, il ne restera plus assez d'espace pour le gravier ou pour les pierres.
If you start pouring sand into the jar, you won’t have enough space for the gravel or the stones.
Il en va de même avec votre vie: si vous gaspillez votre disponibilité et votre énergie pour les petites choses, il ne vous restera jamais assez ni de temps, ni de place pour ce qui est essentiel à votre bonheur.
You can compare this with your life. If you waste your availability and energy on small things, you will never have time or enough space for what is essential for your happiness. First of all take care of the big stones. All the rest could be compared to sand slipping through your fingers.
Sophie ARSAC – FRENCH SOS – French tuition (group lessons, one to one lessons or via the internet), translation, administrative help –scarolinea@yahoo.fr – Tél 05 55 89 15 74
Language Corner December 2011
The pronunciation in French is not always easy and I often hear that “it is not logical”. I personally think that English is even worse! For instance, I would like to understand the logic in the pronunciation of the two letters “ea” in the following words: meadow (un pré), tea (un thé), earth (la terre), heart (le coeur), hearth (le foyer), steak (le steak), fear (la peur), head (la tête), realisation (la réalisation), really (vraiment), whereas (alors que), knowledgeable (instruit), creative (créatif). I find the two letters “ea” very depressing...
In French, there are four accents for vowels and one accent for the consonant “c”. Above the vowels, you can find “un accent aigu” (acute accent) like in the word “un bébé” (a baby), “un accent grave” (grave accent) like in “la mère” (the mother), “un accent circonflexe” (circumflex accent) like in “un château” (a castle) and “un accent tréma” (diaeresis) like in “Noël” (Christmas).
Today I will explain the use of the consonant “c” and its cedilla. In French (and even in English), the letter “c” can be pronounced in one or two ways: In front of an “e”, “i” or “y”, you get a soft pronunciation and the “c” is pronounced like an “s”. In front of an “a”, “o” or “u”, the “c” is pronounced in a hard way, like a “k”.
Then in some languages like Catalan, Portugese, Turkish or French, you will find a cedilla (une cédille) which is a small mark found only under the letter “c”: you get a “ç” which can be used under upper or lower case letter. Using a cedilla shows that the letter “ç” will sound like an “s”, like in the word “France”. Of course, you will never find a cedilla in front of “e”, “i” or “y” as their combination with a “c” is already a soft pronunciation.
To recap, I will give a few examples of the different combinations of ca, ce, ci, co, cu, cy, ça, ço and çu.
“Ca” sounds “k” like in David Cameron or Carrefour or Calais. As a result, “ça” will sound “s” like français (French), provençal (from Provence) or “ça va?” (how are you?).
But “ce” will sound “s” like in “France” or “Provence” and no need to add a cedilla here (like we did with Français or Provençal, remember!!).
“Ci” sound “s” like the English word “cinema”. Le cinéma, comme ci comme ça (like this, like that or so so), merci, le citron (the lemon). “Cy” will behave exactly like “ci” (and please note that here, the letter Y is being considered as a vowel in French) and will sound like in the English word “cyst”: le cyprès (the cypress), le cygne (the swan), le jeune cygne (the cygnet).
“Cu” sounds “k” like in the English word “culture” (la culture) or “la haute cuisine” , “la haute couture”, when “çu” sounds like an “s” in “un reçu” (a receipt).
“Co” sounds “k” like in the English word “the colleague” (le collègue). You all know how to pronounce Nicolas Sarkozy or “Coca Cola” (the coke). “Ço” sounds “s” like in Montluçon, un garçon (a boy) or un maçon (a mason). Be careful with the word “maçonnerie” (masonry): if you pronounced the “c” like a “k”, you would become pretty rude as “ma connerie” is a slang way to say ‘”my stupidity!”.
Anyway if you want more information about French, just call çophie arçac! Je vous souhaite de très bonnes fêtes de fin d’année.
Sophie ARSAC – FRENCH SOS – French tuition (group lessons, one to one lessons or via the internet), translation, administrative help –scarolinea@yahoo.fr – Tél 05 55 89 15 74
Language Corner November 2011
The European mainland of France (also called Metropolitan France, as opposed to the overseas departments and territories such as French Guiana) is often called “l’hexagone” (the hexagon) as its general shape is vaguely hexagonal, with 3 sides on the continent and 3 sides on the sea. You get a hexagon if you draw a segment between Brest and Dunkerque then Dunkerque/Strasbourg then Strasbourg/Nice then Nice/Perpignan then Perpignan/Biarritz and finally Biarritz/Brest. That was for the mathematical and geographical side of my article...
Now let’s consider the French word “Un hexagone” from a grammatical point of view! Within this word, the letter “h” is mute and not aspired. What is the difference between the two? It has to do with the pronunciation of the word and grammar rules called “liaison” and “elision”. The “liaison” is the pronunciation of the last consonant of a word immediately before the following vowel sound. For instance, “les amis” (the friends) will be pronounced “les zami” with a “z” sound. When a word starts with an “h” and acts as if it began with a vowel, we say that the “h” is mute and we can do a liaison. Most British people know the word “hôtel”. “Un hôtel” is pronounced “un notel”. In the expression “the hotel”, we won’t say “le hôtel” but “l’hôtel”. In the word “le”, the vowel “e” is dropped and replaced by an apostrophe and this is what we call an elision. When an “h” is aspired, liaisons or elisions are not allowed. In French, “Dutch” is “Hollandais”. “Un Hollandais” (a Dutch person) must not be pronounced “un nollandais”. The liaison is forbidden as if the letter “h” was acting as an obstacle between the two words. We pronounce “un” then “Ollandais”. With the word “Holland” (la Hollande), the elision is forbidden. We say “la Hollande” and not “l’Hollande”. My student Sophie asked me once: “How can we know if an “h” is mute or non mute? Is there a general rule or does it depend on your mood?”. In this particular case, I will answer that I don’t think there is a specific rule, howewer it can depend on the origins of the word.
If you have any doubt about a word, you should find the answer in your dictionary. In my French dictionary “Le Petit Larousse” or my French-English dictionary “Harraps”, all the words starting with an “aspired h” are starred with an asterisk: Le haddock (smoked haddock) – Le hameau (the hamlet)– Le hareng (the herring) – La hauteur (the height)– Le hérisson (the hedgehog). Some other words with a “mute h” are not starred: Une habitude (a habit) – Un hélicoptère (a helicopter) – L’herbe (the grass) – L’heure (the hour, the time) – L’homme (the man, mankind).
Even though you make a mistake, you will generally be understood but sometimes it can change the meaning of the sentence. For instance, the “h” of “un héros” (a hero) is aspired. If you make a mistake, you could get into trouble. “You are heroes” is “Vous êtes des héros”. If you consider that the “h” is mute, you will say “Vous êtes des zéros”, meaning you are “nothing”! Strange enough, the feminine form of “un héros” is “une héroïne” and in the latter case, the “h” is mute! We say “l’héroïne” and not “la héroïne”....!!
If you get Creuse News, there is a good chance you live in la Creuse or in a surrounding department...so your house is probably located in a small village or hamlet... If you have any doubt about the use of the “h”, don’t worry too much. As I read somewhere recently: “The nice part about living in a small village is that when you don’t know what you are doing... someone else does!”.
Sophie ARSAC – FRENCH SOS – French tuition (group lessons, one to one lessons or via the internet), translation, administrative help –scarolinea@yahoo.fr – Tél 05 55 89 15 74
Language Corner September 2011
Since 1977 in France, we haven’t had such a bad summer as the one we had had this year. My partner and I almost organised our first barbecue 2 weeks ago. Everything was ready but at the last minute, I couldn’t find the charcoal..... However we invited some friends last week-end and we managed to cook some fish kebabs (brochettes de poisson) on the barbecue. We thought we could buy our fish from our local supermarket but at 1 o’clock , the fishmonger was having lunch and was not due back until 3.30... Therefore the butcher was in charge of the meat as well as the fish. As he was unable to answer our fishy questions, we decided to go to a “Rayon poissonnerie” (Fish aisle) in a bigger town. Please note that the pronunciation of the English word “aisle” is impossible to guess for a French person. I was quite happy as “le service après-vente” (after sales service) of the supermaket number 2 (le supermarché) had sent me a letter informing me that my electric toothbrush which I had bought there a few months ago had now been repaired. It had never worked. When I went to collect it, the shop assistant (le vendeur) was very charming but looked very preoccupied.
The shop assistant (S.A): “When you bought your toothbrush, it was next to the toothpaste, wasn’t it?”- Sophie: “Well... I can’t remember...” - S.A.: “Try to remember...It is important. It was not next to the toasters, was it?” - Sophie: “well...”- S.A.: “No, it wasn’t. And I have bad news for you. You did not buy it from the small appliances department but from the comestics department. We can’t do ANYTHING for you. You have to go to the reception desk and they will call the head of department who will tell you what he can do for you. The reception desk is just 5 m away, where you can see a big queue... Good luck.
Le vendeur: “Quand vous avez acheté votre brosse à dents, elle était à côté du dentifrice?» – Sophie: «Euh… Je ne me souviens pas» – Le vendeur: «Essayez de vous rappeler, c’est important. C’était à côté des grille-pains?» – Sophie: «Euh…» - Le vendeur: “Non, ce n’était pas à côté des grille-pains. J’ai une mauvaise nouvelle pour vous. Vous ne l’avez pas achetée dans le rayon petit électroménager mais dans le rayon beauté. Nous ne pouvons RIEN faire pour vous. Vous devez aller à l’accueil, ils appelleront le chef de rayon qui vous dira ce qu’il peut faire pour vous. L’accueil est à 5 m, là où il y a une longue file d’attente. Bonne chance».
I was in shock and at that moment, I was sure of only one thing: we would arrive home after our guests, who would have left anyway, and I would have understood why as the only food we would have had for them would have been a broken toothbrush.
In a country where butchers are in charge of “le rayon poissonnerie”, it is better to have a bit of knowledge of fish. Recently I burst out laughing when my friend K told me she was utterly shocked to see on a menu of a restaurant “Filet de loup”. “Un loup” is a wolf .... But we don’t eat wolf fillet in France! “Un loup” (or called “un bar”) is also a fish! (“Seabass” in English). “Cod” is “le cabillaud” when fresh. It is called “la morue” when dried and salted. “Hake”or “Coley” is “le colin”. “Sea bream” is “la dorade”, “Tuna fish” is “le thon”, “salmon” is “le saumon”, “Monkfish” is “la lotte”, “Whiting” is “le merlan”, “Red Mullet” is “le rouget”, “Pollock” is “le lieu”, “Dab” is “la limande”, “Trout” is “la truite” and “Herring” is “le hareng”. By the way, our guests loved our brochettes!
Sophie ARSAC – FRENCH SOS – French tuition (group lessons, one to one lessons or via the internet), translation, administrative help –scarolinea@yahoo.fr – Tél 05 55 89 15 74
The Dutch Page in the Print Edition
Dear Julia,
Congratulations with your page for the Dutch, what a splendid idea, many Dutch people in the Creuse read Creuse News if only because your advertisers are a good alternative for the French artisans “ qui ont toujours trop de boulot !
You asked some questions and as a Dutchman living in la Creuse I’ll try and answer them:
1. Why do Dutch people love camping so much?
I must say I have never camped in my life but my guess is that the Dutch have always loved France as a holiday destination. When you want to spend 2 or 3 weeks in France with 2 or 3 kids, staying in a hotel becomes very expensive, so they choose camping as a necessity, not because they love it. The same Dutch go to Spain, Greece or Turkey and find cheap flight plus hotel deals that France just does not offer. The answer is thus: France is too near home to fly to!
2. Why is Dutch so difficult to pronounce?
Is it? I have given Dutch lessons at Adult Education courses in England and had my class holding conversations in Dutch after a few weeks.
A few tips: the letter combimation “ij” as in Hij en Zij (He and she) is just a way of writing “y” and is pronouced as in the english word “ I “ but without moving your lips. To me english is one of the few languages in which vowels are made “impure” by moving your lips while you pronounce them. In Dutch, like in French, the vowels are “pure” and phonetically pronounced: a (short) aa (long), e (short) ee (long) etc. etc. Much easier than English. The Dutch ask themselves “Why do the English write “street” , say “striet” when they mean “straat”. Dutch vowels are dead easy for the Northern English and Scots. Finally, the letters “g” and “ch” are guttural and pronounced as in “loch”. So Dutch is really very easy and the closest language to english.
3. Why is thar lovely blue so often chosen as the colour of your shutters and doors ?
I haven’t lived in Holland since many years but I know that the colour of doors and shutters is often specified by the local authorities. Some may like blue but I have also often seen dark green and other colours. Anyway, it is rarely a free choice.
4. Are herrings the only thing you miss from Holland ?
We may miss them, although I know many Dutchmen, and particularly Dutchwomen who don’t like herring at all . Anyway, there is a short season for the real “new” herring and it does not keep, so transporting to France is difficult. I personally miss “dropjes”, Dutch licorice, and bread that you can make “boterhammen” or tartines with, difficult with a baguette, stokbrood in Dutch, it means “Stick bread”, not so difficult, eh? What I miss most after a lifetime abroad is Dutch honesty and directness, considered rude by other nationalities. When I once asked my boss: Can I ask you something honestly.? He replied “ please not, when the Dutch are honest, they are so bloody rude”. He was of mixed Italian/ English descent.
Anyway, I don’t miss Holland at all, after my youth there, followed by a working life mostly in England, I moved here and I just love la Creuse, so beautiful and quiet and such friendly people. I thought I would miss my jazz, as you may know I’m a jazz musician, but I found an excellent group of musicians to play with and we perform regularly in the Limousin, including la Creuse, and in the Dordogne.
So there, I’ve tried to answer your questions.
Yours sincerely,
Ronald Scheffer
(July 2011)
Language Corner July 2011
When you start speaking a new language, studying the pronunciation is everything. A little bit of an accent can be very sexy but to a certain point. If you want to learn French, I would recommend you start learning the French alphabet and the basic rules of pronunciation. There are two other aspects which to me are fundamental: remembering the gender of the words and learning how to link the words together. It is not so much about your own pronunciation here. It is about being able to understand what French people say. Comprehension can be very tricky.
Getting rid of bad habits is very difficult and I meet the same problems in English. When I use the words “available” or “foreigner”, people look at me as if I was mad. I banned the word “Massachussetts” from my vocabulary.. “Hungry” and “angry” are my worst nightmares. “I am hungry yum-yum!” (J’ai faim miam miam!) works pretty well. When I mean that I am angry, I just roar at the same time...
If you live in France and get French lessons with a French native, you are bound to improve your pronunciation. Even Michael did it! Michael is Irish and he is a student of mine. I thought he looked pretty balanced until the day I asked him to read some sentences in French. I remember he was trying to say once: “Chérie, peux-tu me donner le shampoing et la crème à raser?» (Darling, could you pass me the shampoo and the shaving foam?)» and “Il y a une abeille sur le fauteuil” (there is a bee on the armchair)..... His pronunciation was sounding so strange, that at the end, even he himself had no idea of what he was trying to say...! I asked him to stop anyway as I was suffocating with laughter. He is getting much much better now!
“Crème à raser” (also called “Mousse à raser”) seems to be a hard one for English speaking people. Simon could not say “Raser” (to shave) properly. I explained to him how to pronounce it and asked him: “So what do you get?”. “A beard!” (une barbe!), cheeky Simon answered...
Never learn a noun on its own, always learn its gender. “Table” does not exist. It is either “La table” (The table) or “Une table” (A table). “France” does not exist on its own. It is “La France” (The France). If you learn this way, you will never wonder if a word is masculine or feminine and it is better like that as there is no logic in it. For instance, a lot of people think that “a car” (une voiture) has got to be masculine. “No”, said Sue. ““A car” is feminine as men knew women would clean them!””.
“Liaison” is the pronunciation of a latent word-final consonant immediately before a following vowel sound. For example, the letter “s” in the word “les” (the) is generally silent but it is pronounced “z” in the combination “Les amis” The friends). “Les amis” sounds «Les zamis”. “Ils sont amis” (they are friends) sounds “Ils son tamis”…..Liaisons can be obligatory, forbidden or optional. Once more they are so important....
I started group lessons of French in the English Library in la Souterraine (23) and in Crevant (36). You would be most welcome to join us.. In the meantime, as you repeat “Yellow lorry, red lorry” in English (camion jaune, camion rouge), try to repeat “Panier, piano” (basket, piano) a few times as quickly as you can and see what you get!
I wish you a good summer, je vous souhaite un excellent été. I hope to talk to you again in September! A bientôt en Septembre!
ISophie ARSAC – FRENCH SOS – French tuition (group lessons, one to one lessons or via the internet), translation, administrative help –scarolinea@yahoo.fr – Tél 05 55 89 15 74
Language Corner May 2011
It is spring! Nous sommes au printemps! It is time to complain again! Allergies are back! (“Les allergies sont de retour!”). Flies are back! Fleas (les puces) and tiques (les tiques) are back everywhere! One day it is freezing, the next day it is boiling hot! I love it when I don’t know how I should get dressed! “Ams, tram, gram, pic et pic et colégram...” “Eeny, meeny, miny, moe..”. Ok, I will wear my nice little pink dress today! No, sorry, I won’t! Why do clothes shrink in winter?
There is nothing nicer than enjoying a glass of wine at the end of a sunny afternoon, in the garden, after a hard day’s work. “L’apéritif” (or “l’apéro” in colloquial French) is serious business in France.... Gardens become quiet again... Not necessarily because everybody is busy drinking (!) but because in France there are prohibited times to be noisy in your garden, generally run by a specific bylaw. According to a Gendarmerie I just rang, it has mainly to do with good sense and good relationship with your neighbourhood... If you were interested by the legal times, I would advise you to contact your local Mairie.
A few years ago, the French government communicated on the danger of alcohol on health and used this motto which became a French saying: “Un verre, ça va. Trois verres, bonjour les dégâts!». “One glass, it is ok. Three glasses, here comes trouble!”.
Since the French government pledged to lower the high number of deaths on roads (le nombre élevé de morts sur les routes), France has now very strict drink driving laws and the police can practice “un test d’alcoolémie”. “L’alcoolémie” is the equivalent of the BAC (Blood Alcohol Content) and is measured by “un alcootest” (“a breathalyser”).
In France, when driving, you are allowed a maximum of 0.5g of alcohol per litre in your blood, compared to 0.8 g in the UK. You reach this level approximately after 2 standard glasses of alcohol. If the breathalyzer reads an alcohol level between 0.5 g/l and 0.8 g/l, the penalty could include a fine (une amende, une contravention) and the loss of six points on your driving license (la perte de six points sur le permis de conduire). From 0.8 g/l and depending if you cause an accident and/or serious physical harm or commit involuntary manslaughter, the penalty could include jail, a fine, the confiscation of the vehicle, the suspension of the licence or the loss of six points etc. When you are stopped by the Police and if you refuse to take the breathalyser, there may be further penalties.
There are no tricks for getting rid of alcohol quicker– like a cup of coffee for instance. The liver gets rid of alcohol at the average rate of 0.15g of alcohol per hour. The alcohol elimination rate varies widely among individuals and is influenced by factors such as chronic alcohol consumption, diet, age, smoking. Women are affected by alcohol more rapidly because they tend to have a higher proportion of body fat than men. As fat cannot absorb alcohol, it is concentrated at higher levels in the blood. Women are unable to metabolize alcohole as efficiently as men because they have less of a liver enzyme that converts alcohol into an inactive substance.
At 0.5 g per litre, the risk of accident is multiplied by 2. It is multiplied by 10 at 0.8 g and by 35 at 1.2 g! It is a bit scary... Let’s all stick to our garden when we want to have a glass of alcohol and let’s all drink red wine as its antioxydants are known to keep cardiovascular diseases at a bay!
Sophie ARSAC – FRENCH SOS – French tuition (group lessons, one to one lessons or via the internet), translation, administrative help –scarolinea@yahoo.fr – Tél 05 55 89 15 74
Language Corner April 2011
My best dog friend Archie left our planet this week. He was a powerful Rhodesian Ridgeback and we will never see him again. This breed used to hunt lions in Zimbabwe and they are tall, strong, and smart. Archie had the best owner he could ever have had, he could not have had a better life.
His owner (son maître) had to take him to the vet (le vétérinaire). “Le véto” put him down as he was in too much a pain and suddenly he became too weak. “Piquer un animal” means to give a lethal injection (une piqûre) to an animal. After the injection, Archie started to relax, he looked very peaceful and grateful. «Toutes mes condoléances» is the usual way to express your deepest sympathy in such a case.
My two puppies are still around and are still a ‘terrible twosome’ (une équipe diabolique). Fidji is the one who’s got the brain (le cerveau) and Frippy has got the stomach (l’estomac). A stomach is “un estomac” as long as you talk about the organ of digestion. “J’ai mal à l’estomac” means “I have a pain in my organ of digestion”. If you have a pain in your belly, you should say “J’ai mal au ventre”.
It is a bit like “le coeur” (the heart). If you say “J’ai mal au coeur”, you don’t mean that you have a pain in your heart, you mean that you are going to.... vomit! (I feel sick). If you are heartbroken, you can say “J’ai un problème de coeur” but if you have heart disease, you should say “J’ai un problème au coeur” or even easier “J’ai un problème cardiaque”.
The word “cardiaque” will always remind me of my friend Simonne... She was attending a lesson with her/my friend Jane and I told them about somebody who had had “une crise cardiaque” (a heart attack). Simonne looked a bit puzzled and whispered... “Do I know this Chris Cardiaque?”......!!! Don’t change, Simonne.
The terrible twosome drive me absolute nuts at the moment. They spend the whole day thinking of the next stupid thing they can do. For instance, I had hidden the pack of toilet rolls somewhere as they attack all the rolls each time I have a shower. We all know I have a memory of a “poisson rouge” (a goldfish) and I had forgotten where I had hidden them. So for a few days, each time I was in my shower, they escaped, found the hiding place (la cachette!) and scattered the rolls all over the place. A toilet roll is “Un rouleau de papier toilette”or “Un rouleau de papier hygiénique”. Now, skip the next sentence if you don’t like vulgarity. «Un cul» is «an arse ». Hence the slang version: «Un rouleau de papier cul», shortened into «Un rouleau de PQ ». We use the PQ in «Les toilettes», «Les w.c», «Les chiottes» (slang) et dans «Les petits coins» (literally, the little corners). «Puis-je utiliser vos petits coins?” is a lovely way to talk about something which is not lovely.
The other evening, I had a great idea. I wanted to wish a good night via email to a friend who has got a white moustache and I suddenly thought I should send him a photo of me. So I disguised myself into a little tiger with a white moustache and a white nose, took a picture of me and sent it to him. I had used a generous amount of Tippex on my face. Question: how are you supposed to get rid of Tippex? Do you know the trick? I tried everything and I could not. The day after, I had a lesson and I had forgotten all about it. I realised when I saw the face of my student looking at me...
Life can be a bastard sometimes and grief is the price you pay for love.
Sophie ARSAC – FRENCH SOS – French tuition (group lessons, one to one lessons or via the internet), translation, administrative help – scarolinea@yahoo.fr – Tél 05 55 89 15 74
Language Corner February 2011
I dunno. Je sais pas. I don’t know what to talk about. It is a miracle and I don’t believe in miracles... I certainly have a few things to say...
Come on, Soph! Think! Some people are reading what you are not writing! You must type 500 words! (Cinq cents mots!). And link the words together so they will make some sense! And it must be interesting! Hum... Good luck! Bonne chance!
Come on Soph! You are doing well! Only 416 words left! (Il reste quatre cent seize mots!). You can do it! (402) (quatre cent deux).
I should talk about what I did yesterday... Well I did nothing... Today I did nothing neither but I had to finish what I started yesterday...(372) (trois cent soixante douze).
“A tes souhaits!” (I hope you will get your wishes!). Sorry, my dog just sneezed. “A tes amours!” (I hope you will get your wishes in love!). My dog sneezed again. All of that was the equivalent of your “Bless you!” when someone sneezes.
OOPS!
Sorry, I thought something serious had happened but actually it was my imagination (my dogs barked). (Mes chiens ont aboyé).
Yes, I wrote “my dogS”. I have two “Cotons de Tuléar” now! Don’t think I am mad, I had no choice, “Fidji” was offered to me on Monday evening and I could not refuse, as “Fripouille” needed a dog friend. I am still his best friend but I started to feel a bit tired to play with him all day (he is a boy, I am a girl and he always wants to play boys games). Greedy Fripouille is huge and only his tail suits the standards of his breed. Fidji is tiny and only his curly tail does not meet the standards. One week ago, Frippy was an agitated monster and Fidji was a lovely and precious tiny dog. Then they met. One week later, Frippy tremendously calmed down and Fidji became terribly cheeky. Good score: I still have a silly little pet at home plus an extra dog...
They were bred by Isabelle (05 55 89 98 30) who would like to find a lovely family for two alsacians: The female called Caïla is 3 and is very gentle. The female Bacha is about 4 years and used to be beaten up. She is a lovely dog with special needs and has to be the only pet of the house.
Really, with this article, you learnt how to count between 372 and 500, although I am not sure how much help this will be to you! I had this feeling since the very beginning, you would not get anything from me today and it is too late now. Next month should be more interesting: I will tell you exactly how to be conned on the phone.
Atchoum! (A-choo!). Zut, je viens d’atchoumer. Gosh, I just a-chooed myself. Is there a virus in this room? I can’t believe it, I need to go virus hunting now.
I never stop.
Sophie ARSAC – FRENCH SOS – French tuition (group lessons, one to one lessons or via the internet), translation, administrative help –scarolinea@yahoo.fr
Tél 05 55 89 15 74
Language Corner January 2011
Aren’t you annoyed with these so-called good resolutions for the New Year? Mine are so boring because they have been exactly the same for so many years. I really do my best to respect them and please don’t think that I give up very easily in a short time. Making Good Resolutions are the saddest and the most frustrating way to start a New Year. No wonder why so many people drink so much on that day ...and already that blows the first resolution! Anyway if I decided to make new resolutions this year, they would be:
... to learn the basics of a new language because even counting up to 5 can help. There are 2 kittens. The English one is named “One Two Three”, the French one is named “Un Deux Trois”. They go on a boat race on the sea. Question: Who won? One Two Three or Un Deux Trois? (Answer: the English one because the Un Deux Trois cat sank...).
... to think before I say «it is impossible»: The day before yesterday, I was 17 and next year I will be 20. How is this possible? (Answer: yesterday was the 31/12 and I was 18. This year, I will be 19 and next year I will be 20).
Avant-hier, j’avais 17 ans. L'année prochaine, j’aurai 20 ans. Comment est-ce possible? (Solution: Hier, on était le 31 décembre et j'ai eu 18 ans. Aujourd’hui nous sommes le 1er janvier. Cette année, j'aurai donc 19 ans et l'année prochaine, 20 ans).
...to stop thinking that a problem is insurmountable because there is always a solution: An old dying king had 2 sons and wanted to give his kingdom to only one of them. The king drew a line on the ground and told his sons to get on their horses and the last person to cross this line by horse would get all the kingdom and be king. The 2 sons took their horses and went in different directions as neither wanted to cross the line first. Then a wise man, in order to help, said something to them. What was it? (Answer: He told them to switch horses!).
Un vieux roi sur le point de mourir avait deux fils mais il ne pouvait choisir qu’un héritier. Il traça une ligne sur le sol et leur dit «Celui d’entre vous dont le cheval passera cette ligne en dernier héritera de mon royaume». Bien sûr aucun d’entre eux ne voulait passer la ligne en premier et ils partaient dans toutes les directions. Soudain un sage leur dit quelque chose pour les aider : qu’est-ce qu’il leur dit? (Solution: Echangez vos chevaux !).
... to try to get a bit of fun even if the subject is serious: The Chinese philosopher Zhuangzi said: “I was dreaming that I was a butterfly. When I awoke, there I was, veritably myself again. Now I do not know whether I was then a man dreaming that I was a butterfly, or whether I am now a butterfly dreaming that I am a man.” (Chinese fable of 4th century BC).Tchouang-tseu rêva qu’il était un papillon puis, au réveil, se demanda s’il n’était pas un papillon rêvant qu’il était un homme. (Fable chinoise du IVè siècle av. J.C.).
I just love this man, he must so clever because he managed to have so many different ways to spell his name! Zhuang Zi, Zhuang Zhou, Chuang Tzu, Chuang Tse , Chuang Chou...
Ouh la la... Happy New Year! Bonne année!
Sophie ARSAC – FRENCH SOS – French tuition (group lessons, one to one lessons or via the internet), translation, administrative help –scarolinea@yahoo.fr
Tél 05 55 89 15 74
Language Corner December 2010
Is hunting (la chasse) indispensable in France as hunters claim it is? According to them, they help regulate the populations of deer, wild boar etc. which would cause material damage and cost to both farmers and foresters. Even if there is some opposition to hunting, like Green groups or “animal lovers”, hunting in France is an institution. Hunters come from all social backgrounds and if like everywhere else there are black sheep (brebis galeuses), most hunters are serious, well-behaved, responsible and... sober. In rural areas, hunting helps to maintain social ties and offers a much appreciated distraction in winter. I talked to my neighbour Marc who has been a hunter all his life and gave me some valuable information about hunting in La Creuse.
Game species are subject to specific regulations, according to the different seasons, type of territory and the ecological needs of an area. The dates of the opening and the closing of hunting seasons depend on the département and generally open in September and run until the end of February. Mounted hunt (chasse à courre) is generally allowed until 31 March. Game species are roughly classed into 3 categories: Le Petit gibier (mainly game birds) like pheasant (un faisan), young partridge (un perdreau), duck (un canard), woodcock (la bécasse), pigeon (le pigeon) or rabbit (le lapin) and hare (le lièvre). Le Grand gibier (big game) is mainly composed of roe deer (un chevreuil) and wild boar (un sanglier) and involves beaters (la battue). Finally, la Sauvagine usually describes waterfowl (le gibier d’eau) and also pests like fox (le renard), marten (la martre), badger (le blaireau) or coypu (le ragondin). The quotas are specific and can vary from one commune to another. As an example, in the commune where Marc hunts, a hunter can shoot 2 pheasants and 3 partridges per day and 3 hares per year. 15 deer can be shot in one season and there are no quotas for rabbits, ducks, pigeons and wild boar.
Insurance is required and security regulations are strict. Hunters can’t approach a dwelling to within 150 m. Gardens and cultivated fields are forbidden but on special application to the Préfecture, private land can be forbidden to hunters. This ban, indicated by a sign “Non Chasse” (no hunting) applies to the owner who can’t hunt on any property, including his own land. In the countryside, we can sometimes see a sign “Chasse gardée”(private hunting grounds) which means that only the owner and his guests can hunt on that land. During transport and in public places (like roads), guns must be taken apart or “broken” and unloaded. Hunters have to pass a theory and practical exam before being given a licence. It is about knowledge of wildlife (recognising game and protected species, animal biology and their way of life), knowledge of hunting (different hunting techniques, use of hunting dogs and hunting vocabulary), knowledge of the rules and laws concerning hunting policies and the protection of nature, knowledge of arms and munitions (how to use them and security rules). In France, hunters almost always hunt with dogs but usually on foot, less commonly on horseback. The dogs (specific breeds of hunting dogs) may be owned by individual owners or by the hunt (société de chasse).
Protesters against hunting use vocabulary like cruelty, little soldiers, drunkards, accidents.. Lead pellets are accused of being responsible for pollution (except in water areas where steel pellets are used). Some species like pheasants and partridges can’t breed anymore in the wild so they are released into the wild for the hunt (un lâcher de gibier d’élevage) which is quite a debatable way to hunt. Opponents denounce the over-control of the countryside that the hunters enforce, the hunting lobbies and their political influence. Passion or hate, hunting rarely leaves people indifferent. Being against hunting is one thing and can perfectly be argued. Being against hunters personnally is something else and as always, constructive dialogue can change your view. Marc changed mine. (For very advanced people in French, much more entertaining information can be found on http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vH2GdDrJpKg). Happy Christmas!
Sophie ARSAC – FRENCH SOS – French tuition (group lessons, one to one lessons or via the internet), translation, administrative help –scarolinea@yahoo.fr – Tél 05 55 89 15 74
Language Corner November 2010
I read an article about this English guy whose lost dog had been taken to the S.P.A (Société Protectrice des Animaux), the equivalent in France of the RSPCA, and the misconception the event triggered in the UK about the way French treat their pets. I’ve got a dog myself, he is 7 months old now and I still wonder everyday why I got up the day I acquired him. Do I really deserve what has happened to me since?
He is a “Coton de Tuléar” (the Maltese Bichon family). Almost no one knows this breed and it is much better like that so that they won’t spread everywhere. How could I describe him to you? Imagine a fluffy monster whose father is a white teddy bear and whose mother is a lamb. Mister Fripouille (Rascal) was born on the “F” year which should have been a clue for me. In France, it is tradition that dog’s names start with a different letter each year. He was on discount because he was too big for the standards of his breed. Too big? He is only big in his dreams, really he is too greedy, I have to feed him at least once a week. Anyway, I wanted a better quality dog so I took him back to his owner who said “He is not in the same condition in which you bought him. I sold you a white puppy, you come back with a black disgusting tubby thing”. We can’t blame him for being dirty all the time and not to have any sense of poetry when amongst flowers, he feels he is surrounded by giant sequoias. The world is too high for him. My ceilings are too high for me also so I use him as a broom to get rid of the cobwebs.
Many people have said that they wanted to look after him when I go on holiday. But I never go on holiday anymore as I started depression the day I met Fripie. I’ve tried to lose him but he always came back. Then I thought of selling him for free. I wrote the notice and never got one inquiry: “Dog to be given away, looking for a slave – Original colour white – Multilingual: whatever you say I will pretend I understand you – No job too little for me: I can destroy your house in less than ½ hour. I am a gigolo, I am hypocritical, cunning, calculating and dirty”. This week, I dreamed he was running on diesel. I was saying: “Oh my baby dog, I am so sorry you can’t move anymore as the petrol stations are on strike! I REALLY hope it won’t last for too long....”. “Don’t worry, my little mummy” he answered. “I knew it would happen one day. I have got a stock of vegetable fuel in the barn. I kept it secret as a nice surprise for you” And he added: “Got a good joke for you, Mum: One day France will dominate the world. Not tomorrow though as French people will be on strike...”.
Fripouille loves my cat who hates my dog. I don’t think he is a very clever dog as he believes all of what he reads. He read that dogs should roll themselves in dead animals to get a strong smell to impress their rivals. Now he systematically does it with dead mice and birds as he wants to impress... my cat. I tried to have a word with him on this subject “Well, I wish you could provide me with elephant or tiger dung! I can only do my best”. This dog always wants to have the last word.
I would like to teach you a few orders we commonly use for dogs in France. Never use the form “vous” with a dog, French people would laugh at you. “Sit: Assis!” “Down: Couché!” “Heel: Au pied!” “Stay: Ne bouge pas!” “Come! Viens!” “Go away! Va t’en!” “Shut up! Tais-toi!” “Stop barking! Arrête d’aboyer!” “Bad boy! Tu es un mauvais chien!” “Good boy!” No translation available. We never say that in France.
Yes, I hate my dog but just a little bit. He is as soft as cotton wool (hence the name of the breed) and he has an angelic face (une gueule d’ange...). He makes me laugh all the time as he has got the same sense of humour as I. Dogs resemble their owners, hey? (What an insult for him....). When he wants to sleep, I put my thumb in his mouth and he sucks it, like a little fluffy teddy bear. “C’est mon petit nounours, mon petit Doudou vivant et jamais je ne m’en séparerai ». He is my little fluffy live teddy bear and I will never never leave him. Are you mad? Stop behaving like my dog, don’t believe all of what you read....
Sophie ARSAC – FRENCH SOS – French tuition (group lessons, one to one lessons or via the internet), translation, administrative help –scarolinea@yahoo.fr – Tél 05 55 89 15 74
Language Corner October 2010
“Talk about philosophy?” I said. My daughter answered “Yes that sounds like a very good idea for your Creuse News article”.
My daughter just fell in love with the 8 hour “philosophy lessons” (les cours de philosophie) she gets every week within the Literature A‟level section (le Bacca-lauréat). The other day, she read out to me her philosophy lesson and asked me “very suddenly” what I thought “of her own definition of “the conscience”” (“sa propre définition de la conscience”) just as I was overtaking a car on a bend at 150 km/h and when“a little bit of concentration” could have been useful. Luckily the trailer hooked up to my car went back on its wheels as it had started to take off.
Later during the day, my daughter attacked again and asked me what I thought of her latest subject of essay “Can you know yourself exactly?”(“Peut-on se connaître exac-tement”?). This was asked while I was washing up -in slippers- with my phone stuck on the last available ear; the cat was barking and the dog was mewing (or something like that) and the mice were dancing around as everybody was too busy to even notice them. The animals were obsessed by a piece of frozen roast beef hanging around on the table. Suddenly I thought: “Why is the roast beef still frozen?”. At that moment, I very definitely knew myself exactly and I could have answered my daughter‟s ques-tion by writing two books as an answer. Then I started to feel sorry for myself when I realised that My question of the day was only “Why is the roast beef still frozen?”.
As I like donkeys I remembered the story of Buridan's ass, who was placed precisely midway between a stack of hay and a pail of water. He was starving and thirsty. Do you know what happened to him? He died. Can you guess why? Because he was un-able to make a rational decision and choose one thing over the other. Personally I don‟t blame the donkey at all. I wish my dog couldn‟t make his own decisions. The other day he escaped through the window and I had to run after him in the streets of Dun-Le-Palestel. The problem with my dog is that “when I tell him to go away, he comes” and “when I tell him to come, he goes away”. Which I can handle in casual circumstances but not when I am in a panic mode.
About the etymology of the Greek word "philosophia", the term "philosophy" is a compound word, composed of two parts: philos (love) and sophia (wisdom), so that literally it means love of wisdom. To be a philosopher (“un philosophe”) is to love wisdom (“la sagesse”).
As my name means wisdom, if I may, I will give you my opinion on the subject. Be-ing wise is not always the solution. Take the following story as an example: An angel appears at a faculty meeting and tells the Dean that in return for his unselfish and ex-emplary behaviour, the Lord will reward him with his choice of infinite wealth, wis-dom, or beauty. Without hesitating, the Dean selects infinite wisdom. "Done!" says the angel who disappears in a cloud of smoke and a bolt of lightning. Now, all heads turn toward the Dean, who sits surrounded by a faint halo of light. One of his colleagues whispers, "Say something.” The Dean sighs and says, "I should have taken the money."
«Talk about philosophy?» I said. My daughter said “Yes, that sounds like a very good idea for your Creuse News article”. From that moment I was trapped....
Sophie ARSAC – FRENCH SOS – French tuition (group lessons, one to one lessons or via the internet), translation, administrative help –scarolinea@yahoo.fr – Tél 05 55 89 15 74
Language Corner September 2010
SOME FISHY TALES from Sophie
Imagine a pregnant female fish who goes to the market. For her dinner, she buys some very special flour made in Peru and composed of dead fish remnants(!), manioc (cassava), soya and cereals. Then she goes back home. She lives in Vietnam, in the highly polluted Mekong river. She injects herself with a dehydrated hormone extracted from a pregnant woman's urine in order to lay quicker her 500,000 eggs.
Then she gets frozen, flies to Europe for an ecological trip and finishes her life on your plate, as she tastes very much like cod, for a ridiculously cheap price. Unfortunately this catfish exists and is named Panga. For a few years, panga fish has flooded the French market and became increasingly popular. Highly contaminated and unnatural, this "poisonous fish" ("Poisson poison") jeopardises our health.
To fish is "pêcher", a fisherman is "un pêcheur" and a fish bone is "une arête", not "un os".
Both English and French languages use many expressions including the word fish. "A person who drinks like a fish" is a person who drinks like a hole. "Il boit comme un trou! ". "There are (plenty of) other fish in the sea" could be translated by "Un de perdu, dix de retrouvés" (literally one lost, ten more found). "I'm like a fish out of water" could be "Je suis comme un poisson hors de son bocal" (I am like a fish out of its bowl). We tend to use a similar expression which means exactly the contrary: "Je suis comme un poisson dans l'eau" "I'm like a fish in water" meaning "I'm feeling perfectly at ease".
"Il y a anguille sous roche" (literally "there is an eel under the rock") means "There is something fishy going on". "Etre muet comme une carpe" (literally to be as dumb as a carp) means "to be as tight-lipped as a clam". Somebody who has "the eyes of a fried whiting" "Il a des yeux de merlan frit" "makes sheep's eyes at somebody or gapes at somebody".
By the way, I've got a baby joke for baby readers: "Do you know what a fish with no eye is?". Easy, it is a "fsh".
"Faire une queue de poisson à quelqu'un" (to do a fishtail to someone) refers to a person who drives a car and "cuts someone up". "Noyer le poisson" (to drown the fish) means "to cloud the truth" and "Engueuler quelqu'un comme du poisson pourri"(slang expression which means literally "to tell somebody off like rotten fish") is "to call somebody every name under the sun" .
Perhaps I told you before but as I have "the memory of a goldfish" "J'ai la mémoire d'un poisson rouge", I can't remember. How would you pronounce the English word "Ghoti"? Here is the answer: it is a constructed word used to illustrate irregularities in English spelling and it sounds exactly like "fish". It has "gh" pronounced "f" as in "tough", "o" pronounced "i" (as in "bit") and as in "women" and "ti" pronounced "sh"as in "nation". To me, it illustrates perfectly the fact that the English language is almost impossible to pronounce when you haven't heard the word before!
There is a colloquial French verb "Ficher", pronounced like "fish" when used in the present tense, for instance. For more definitions, please use a dictionary. The main meanings of this verb are "To put, to throw" ("Mets le dans la poubelle!" "Put it in the bin"), "To give" ("Fiche lui une claque!" "Smack him!"), "To do" ("Mais qu'est-ce que tu fiches?" "What the heck are you doing?", "To mock someone" ("Ne te fiche pas de moi!" "Stop pulling my leg !".
Anyway "I'll bugger off now" because it's dinner time! "Je fiche le camp parce que c'est l'heure du dîner!". I won't promise anything but I should start my diet tomorrow. Bye for now!
Sophie ARSAC - FRENCH SOS - French tuition (group lessons, one to one lessons or via the internet), translation, administrative help -scarolinea@yahoo.fr - Tél 05 55 89 15 74
Language Corner July/August 2010
In the phrase "I have a feeling of deja vu" -"J'ai un sentiment de déjà vu"- the French words "déjà" and "vu" mean "already" and "seen".». "Avez-vous déjà vu...?" means "Have you already seen..."? I discovered a series of very short French videos on youtube.fr which are absolutely hilarious. They are deliciously absurd and I would recommend you having a quick look at them!
«Avez-vous déjà vu un éléphant avec un nez? » - «Have you already seen an elephant with a nose? ». It is one of my favourite even if very sad. If you ever wondered why elephants have a trunk, you will find the answer here!
"Avez-vous déjà vu Nuf Nuf à l'école des charcutiers?" - "Have you already seen Nuf Nuf attending a pork butcher training session?". Nuf Nuf is a lovely little enthusiastic piglet who attends a lesson about pork butchery. He annoys everybody as he knows all the answers and says all the time "Et vous savez comment je le sais?" "Parce que je suis un cochonononononon....!". "And you know how I know it? It's because I am a piiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiig!".
"Avez-vous déjà vu "un mec qui se plaint tout le temps?" - "Have you already seen a guy who complains all the time?". It is about a guy who is never happy. He gets up in a terrible mood, wears an ugly tie and the strawberries he wants for breakfast are all soft. The situation gets worse when he gets a stain of soft strawberries on his ugly tie...."Oh non! J'ai fait une tâche de fraise molle sur ma cravate laide....".
"Avez-vous déjà vu un crime pas parfait du tout? " - "Have you already seen a crime not perfect at all?". An old lady is dusting her collection of cameras when suddenly her nephew - who should inherit her cameras- appears in her lounge with a huge knife... As you can guess, the old lady will be killed but the murder plans are slightly compromised even if he says at the very end when the police arrive: "Non, c'est pas moi. J'ai un alibi. J'étais au cinéma...". "No, it is not me. I have an alibi. I was at the cinema... ".
"Avez-vous déjà vu le lutin du téléphone portable?" - "Have you already seen the goblin of the mobile?". When you use your mobile phone, do you ever think that a little goblin does all the work for you? This one is in charge of a phone call between New York and Paris and he has to go back and forth from one caller to the other one as he acts as a messenger. He is so tired at the end and very angry when the caller in New York says in French slang "Je t'entends mal, là... La réception, elle est super nase! " - "I can't hear you! The line is absolute.. crap!". And the poor little goblin says "Mais, mais... je t'emmerde!"- "But ... but... You can ...get lost! ".
I hope you will enjoy the "Avez-vous déjà vu" series (there are plenty more! Just type the titles into youtube)... if you had any problems with the comprehension and if you need a little bit of help language wise, you now know where I am!
Have a lovely summer and talk to you in September. Très bon été et je vous donne rendez-vous à la rentrée!
Sophie ARSAC - FRENCH SOS - French tuition (also via the internet), translation, administrative help - scarolinea@yahoo.fr - Tél 05 55 89 15 74
Language Corner June 2010
You can feel so old sometimes... My daughter brought back a photo of her class. I thought she was very pretty on this photo but her posture and her clothes attracted my attention. She was wearing flashy light blue huge Doc Martens with striped and three-coloured tights (des collants) and a pretty short skirt (une jupe assez courte).
She was bending to the side and had a leg in the air. It would have been ideal for a fashion magazine (un magazine de mode). Then I noticed that her best friend in the class was wearing huge pink glasses (des lunettes) on her hair. Also two guys were wearing a wreath of flowers (une couronne de fleurs) draped around their necks as Tahitians do. A girl had 2 yellow teddy ears (des oreilles jaunes de nounours) on her hair and -even more surprising- a Pokemon was posing on the shoulder of one kid.
You probably know René Magritte, the Belgian surrealist painter and his painting "The Treachery of Images" (La Trahison des Images) representing a proper pipe. He wrote below the pipe :"Ceci n'est pas une pipe" ("This is not a pipe") as he considers the painting is only an image of a pipe. Would Magritte have entitled my daughter's photo "Ceci n'est pas une photo de classe"? (This is not a class photo)? I compared this photo with mine when I was the same age: only girls, wearing blue uniforms and white socks, we were as straight as soldiers and one of the girls was sitting next to a grand piano and let's imagine it was only a few years ago. The funny thing is that I showed this photo to a pretty old friend who is quite deaf. I asked him "Do you notice something special on this photo?" ("Tu remarques quelque chose de spécial sur cette photo?"). He looked at it and said "This is the photo of a class" ("C'est une photo de classe"). I said "Anything else?" ("Rien d'autre?") and he answered "Well, I can see there are more girls than boys" ("Je peux voir qu'il y a plus de filles que de garçons..."). Question: is he deaf and blind? Or did I become an old git myself?
By the way, my daughter and her best friend will be on a mission next week during their maths lesson. They planned to disguise themselves as Wonder Woman and Super Man but they will wear their costumes under a coat. Their mobiles will ring at the same time and they will both answer: "Ok, ready for the mission". They will remove their coats, leave the class without saying a word and will come back 5 minutes later. I know I should say something but I think she is progressing as last week she fell asleep during the lesson and was told off. At least this time she will be active!
Talk to you next month,
Sophie ARSAC - FRENCH SOS - French tuition (one to one or via the internet), translation, administrative help -
scarolinea@yahoo.fr - Tél 05 55 89 15 74
Language Corner May 2010
In this issue, I will go on with the subject of bank holidays in France. Last month, I already mentioned the Labour day (Fête du travail) on 1st May.
The month of May (le mois de mai) is a lovely little month which I adore. If I could compare the months to each other, I would say that May is a flower (une fleur) of a very subtle perfume (le muguet?) (the Lily of the Valley?) while February reminds me of a big field of manure (un grand champ de fumier). The flower May would be covered with butterflies... (les papillons) who would represent the bank holidays and the field February would be covered with flies (les mouches) who would represent the whole bleakness of this cold, dark, horrible month. May is often the opportunity to “make the bridge” (faire le pont). As a reminder, “un pont” (a bridge) is when a public holiday falls on a Thursday or a Tuesday and it is then common practice to take off the Friday or Monday so creating the miracle of a very long weekend, like most people will certainly do on Thursday 13 May, Ascension day as Ascension always falls on a Thursday!
This year, the flower May will be punctuated with the following butterflies:
Saturday 1 May: Labour Day (Fête du Travail)-Saturday 8 May: WWII Victory Day (Fête de la Victoire 1945)-Thursday 13 May: Ascension Day (Ascension)-Monday 24 May: Whit Monday, now called the Spring Bank Holiday in the UK (Lundi de Pentecôte).
8 May WWII Victory Day (End of World War II)-Victoire des Alliés sur l'Allemagne nazie (8 mai 1945)
8 May 1945 is the date when the World War II Allies formally accepted the unconditional surrender of the armed forces of Nazi Germany and the end of Adolf Hitler's Third Reich and is seen as the symbolic date of the Second World War, in the same way as the 11th of November was for the First World War.
It marks the end of a six-year war and the Nazi oppression in France, which resulted in millions of deaths.
Many people attend parades and church services on May 8 each year.
Ascension Day on Thursday 13 May 2010 (40 days after Easter) -L'Ascension
le 13 mai 2010 (40 jours après Pâques)
The Ascension is celebrated 40 days after Easter. According to the Christian belief, Ascension Day commemorates the day that Jesus left earth and ascended to heaven following his crucifixion and resurrection, in the presence of his eleven Apostles and sat at the right hand of God the Father.
Whit Monday, now called the Spring Bank holiday in the UK on Monday 24 May 2010 - Lundi de Pentecôte le 24 mai 2010
It celebrates the birthday of the Christian Church, and the start of the church's mission to the world. Historically and symbolically related to the Jewish harvest festival of Shavuot, which commemorates God giving the Ten Commandments at Mount Sinai fifty days after the Exodus, Pentecost now also commemorates the descent of the Holy Spirit upon the Apostles. They were celebrating Shavuot when the Holy Spirit descended on them.
Sophie ARSAC – FRENCH SOS – French tuition (one to one or via the internet), translation, administrative help – scarolinea@yahoo.fr – Tél 05 55 89 15 74
Académie Française
The government, in conjunction with the Académie Française, now have a yearly event to come up with replacements for English buzzwords which have found their way into the French language.
This year the task was to find alternatives for ‘chat’, ‘talk’ and ‘newsletter’ as well as for ‘tuning’ when young motorists ‘zap up’ their cars and ‘buzz’ to describe an internet craze.
Ten years ago the words ‘walkman’ and ‘software’ were replaced with ‘baladeur’ and ‘logiciel’ which are now the natural replacements.
The jury of experts agreed on the following replacements: buzz is now ‘ramdam’, tuning is ‘bolidage’, chat is ‘éblabla’, newsletter - ‘infolettre’ and talk - ‘débat’.
However, ‘le weekend’ still remains as do ‘les air bags’!
April 2010
There are 11 bank holidays (jours fériés) in France which are civil or religious celebrations. There is no distinction between a bank holiday, a public holiday or a legal holiday in French, they are all named “Jours fériés”.
In 2010, they will be celebrated on the following days: Friday 1 January: New Year's Day (Jour de l'An)-Monday 5 April: Easter Monday (Lundi de Pâques)-Saturday 1 May: Labour Day (Fête du Travail)-Saturday 8 May: WWII Victory Day (Fête de la Victoire 1945)-Thursday 13 May: Ascension Day (Ascension)-Monday 24 May: Whit Monday, now called the Spring Bank Holiday in the UK (Lundi de Pentecôte)-Wednesday 14 July: Bastille Day (Fête nationale)-Sunday 15 August: Assumption of the Blessed Virgin Mary (Assomption)-Monday 1 November: All Saints' Day (Toussaint)-Thursday 11 November: Armistice Day (Armistice 1918)-Saturday 25 December: Christmas Day (Noël).
I will try to describe the meaning of these “jours fériés” in this issue and I will go on next month... In France, organisations (les administrations) and businesses (les entreprises et les commerces) close on public holidays, although some shopping centres and grocers open for part of the day. Police stations and hospitals do not close. When a public holiday falls on a Thursday or a Tuesday, it is common practice to “make the bridge” (faire le pont) by taking off the Friday or Monday so creating a very long weekend.
Religious celebration – EASTER MONDAY (moveable date: Monday after Easter) - Lundi de Pâques (5 avril en 2010)
Palm Sunday - Le dimanche des Rameaux - 28 mars 2010
Palm Sunday is celebrated on the Sunday before Easter Sunday and is also known as Passion Sunday. It starts the holy week (la semaine sainte) (also the last week of Lent (le Carême) - 40 days of fasting, prayer, and penance) and commemorates both Christ's triumphant arrival in Jerusalem and the suffering (passion) and death of Jesus (mort de Jésus).
The Gospels (les Evangiles) go on to recount how Jesus rode into Jerusalem and how the people there laid down their cloaks in front of him and laid down small palm leaves. In many churches, during Palm Sunday services, large palm branches are carried in processions. In unfavorable climates for palms, they are substituted by box (le buis), yew (l’if), willow (le saule) or other trees.
Good Friday – Vendredi Saint -2 avril 2010
Good Friday (Friday before Easter) commemorates Jesus' crucifixion (la crucifixion de Jésus) and is a day of mourning in church. On Good Friday, Jesus Christ 's body was taken down from the cross and buried in a cave. The tomb was guarded and an enormous stone was put over the entrance, so that no-one could steal the body.
Easter Sunday – Dimanche de Pâques – 4 avril 2010
Easter is the most important annual religious feast for Christians and celebrates Jesus Christ's resurrection (la résurrection de Jésus Christ). “Happy Easter” is “Joyeuses Pâques” in French.
On Sunday following Good Friday, some women visited the grave and found that the stone had been moved and that the tomb was empty. Jesus himself was seen that day and for days afterwards by many people. His followers realised that God had raised Jesus from the dead.
Easter egg hunts (la chasse aux oeufs de Pâques) have become part of the holiday's modern celebrations in France and are often celebrated by many Christians (les Chrétiens) and non-Christians alike. It started with the fact that during Lent, it was forbidden to eat eggs. As during that time, hens were still laying, eggs were decorated and offered. The story in France is that the eggs are dropped by the church bells on their way back from Rome.
Civil celebration- LABOUR DAY- Fête du travail – 1er mai 2010
The labour day has its roots in ancient pagan customs and was meant to celebrate the return of spring. It is a spillover from the American Labor day tradition that began in 1882 and is celebrated all over the world. It became officially Labour day in France in 1947 and it is a public holiday to campaign for and celebrate workers rights. In France, we believe that the lily of the valley (le muguet) brings good luck so the typically French custom is to offer them.
In the U.K, labour day is on the 1st Monday of May.
To people who think that Frogs are always on holiday and are lazy, I will remind everyone that it is not the time you spend doing something which is important as long as you provide a good job....
To the women who think they should not eat chocolate at Easter I will remind them they should never refuse themselves a treat as we never know what will happen tomorrow.
And to the men who do not think enough, I will remind that a bouquet of lily of the valley does not cost much but can mean a lot to ladies...
I wish you happy celebrations! Je vous souhaite de bonnes fêtes !
Sophie ARSAC – FRENCH SOS – French tuition (one to one or via the internet), translation, administrative help –
scarolinea@yahoo.fr – Tél 05 55 89 15 74
March 2010
I am going to mix letters and numbers today... although perhaps it is an article for more advanced people in French? Well you will judge for yourselves ... Anyway if you are anything like me, you will forget the rules below very soon!
I wish to continue with some exceptions with genders. Some nouns are masculine in the singular form and feminine in the plural form: Amour (love), délice (delight) and orgue (organ, musical instrument). We say "mon premier amour" (my first love) and you can see that "premier" is used in the masculine form. Although we say "Des amours clandestines" (clandestine love affairs). "Clandestine" is the feminine form of "clandestin". It works exactly the same way with the word "délice": "Cette pomme est un vrai délice" (this apple is a real delight) and « les délices voluptueuses » (the voluptuous delights).
The word "orgue" is even more amazing. It behaves like "amour" and "délice", however, it is feminine in the plural if there is only one instrument. If there are several instruments, the word remains masculine and plural :"L'orgue de l'église est très beau" (the church organ is very beautiful.)(singular masculine)- "Les orgues de l'église sont très belles" (the church organ is very beautiful) (plural but only one instrument so feminine) - "Les orgues de l'église sont très beaux" (The church organs are very beautiful) (plural/several instruments so masculine).
Now how should we spell "€ 100" in French? Should it be "Cent euro"? "Cents euro"? "Cent euros"? "Cents euros"? On the notes and the coins, euro is always written in the singular form as the rules about plural are different according to the language used in the European Union. But other spellings are accepted according to the various grammatical rules of the respective language. As a result, "euro" in written French takes an "s" in the plural form and becomes "euros". The euro is divided into 100 cents, which are called centimes in French (un centime, deux centimes).
Now that we have sorted out the spelling problem with "euro, how should we write "cent" (a hundred)? With an "s" or with no "S"?
A numerical adjective is the grammatical term for numbers. Like "vingt" (20) et "cent" are numerical adjectives. When "vingt" and "cent" are not followed by another numerical adjective, they take an S: 80 is "quatre-vingts" - 180 is "cent quatre-vingts" - 300 is "trois cents". When "vingt" and "cent" are followed by another numerical adjective, they do not take an S like: 90 is "quatre-vingt-dix" - 183 is "cent quatre-vingt-trois" - 80 000 is "quatre-vingt mille.
But 80 000 000 is written "quatre vingts millions" and 300 000 000 is "trois cents millions" as "millier" (thousand), "million" (million) and "milliard" (billion) are nouns ! By the way, 1 000 (mille) is an invariable adjective so it never takes an S! 3 000 is "trois mille" and 3 300 is "trois mille trois cents".
So to answer my question, "€ 100" must be written "cent euros"!
I promised to give you the solution for the joke in the last issue: Qu'est-ce qu'un «canif»? Answer: C'est un petit « fien ». Qu'est qu'une « nife »? Answer : Bah! C'est la maison du petit « fien »!
« Un canif » is a "a penknife ». Also "a poodle" is "un caniche" and "a kennel" is "une niche". So if you rewrite the joke with no play on words (replacing the "f" by "ch" and reciprocally), you get: "Qu'est-ce qu'un caniche? C'est un petit chien. Qu'est-ce qu'une niche? Bah! C'est la maison du petit chien!". (What is a poodle? It is a small dog. What is a kennel? It is the house of the little dog!).
I'll try to be more fun next month !
Sophie ARSAC - FRENCH SOS - French tuition (one to one or via the internet), translation, administrative help
Tél 05 55 89 15 74
Article No. 11
Let’s go on a little bit with genders of words (feminine or masculine?) and let’s remind ourselves of the definition of the word “un article” (an article). An article in English would be “a or an” or “the”. In French, “a” would be translated by “un” (masculine) or “une” (feminine) and “the” would be “le” (masculine), “la” (feminine) or “les” (feminine and masculine but plural!). Usually, gender will be marked by the suffix (a letter or group of letters added to the end of a word) or by the form of an accompanying article. 
In French, there are a number of nouns whose gender is defined by articles only. They are called “épicènes” like «un artiste» or «une artiste» (artist) or some words like « camarade » (friend), « collègue » (colleague), « concierge » (caretaker), élève (student), «enfant » (child), « malade » (a patient), secrétaire (secretary), “touriste” (tourist). Some animals have both male and female versions: un chat, une chatte (cat), un chien, une chienne (dog), un cheval, une jument (a horse, a mare), un taureau, une vache (a bull/ a cow), un coq, une poule (a cockerel, a hen), un renard, une renarde (a fox). However, there is only one gender for some animals whose natural sex must be indicated by the adjectives « mâle” (male) or “femelle” (female). For instance, ”la souris” (mouse) can never be «le souris» even if it is a male. We must say “la souris mâle” or “la souris femelle”. Like la cigogne (stork), le crapaud (toad), le canari (canary), le serpent (snake).
I have no memory except for stupid things. Ask me the name of Paris Hilton’s dog, I‘ll remember it (easy: I called my house like her dog...I was disgusted). Who is Kylie Minogue’s boyfriend? I know him (easy, I fell in love with him well before her). Or I can remember the name of the river crossing Douala in Cameroon (very useful for me nowadays).
By the way, what is the difference between “une rivière” (a river) and “un fleuve” (a river)? La "rivière" flows into another "rivière" or into a "fleuve" whereas a "fleuve" flows directly into the sea or ocean.
Each time I want to pronounce the word “beard” (la barbe), I must pinch my ear (mon oreille) so I pronounce it right or I call it a “bird”! (un oiseau). I called my neighbour (ma voisine) “Marguerite” for one year when one day she told me her first name was “Odette” and “Marguerite” was the surname of my other neighbour! Even worse than that: one of my neighbours (mes voisins) is called “Bienvenue” (welcome) and the other one is called “Bonjour” (hello). I swear it is true. I find it really confusing and if one day a new neighbour is called “ça va” (how are you), I‘ll kill myself.
To remember that chickens have 2 legs (les poulets ont deux pattes) (for one reason I can only imagine them with 4 legs), I must think first “they have 2 wings so they have 2 legs” (ils ont deux ailes DONC ils ont deux pattes”. In France we have the expression “c’est un mouton à cinq pattes” (literally sheep with 5 legs) whose equivalent in English could be “a rare bird” and “il ne casse pas trois pattes à un canard” (literally he does not break the 3 legs of a duck) which means “he is not very clever” or if you talk about something and say “ça ne casse pas trois pattes à un canard”, it means that it is very common.
My case is not hopeless as I can make the difference between a dog and a car but don’t ask for their brand names! I can probably recognise a poodle (un caniche) and a Citroën 2CV (une “deux chevaux”, also called “une deuche” or “une deudeuche”)!
Talking about poodle, I know a funny French joke: Qu’est-ce qu’un «canif»? Answer: C’est un petit « fien ». Qu’est qu’une « nife »? Answer : Bah! C’est la maison du petit « fien »! (translation in the next issue !).
I talked about bad memory because I had something in mind (j’avais une idée derrière la tête). I have been too talkative and it is too late now. Never mind... Tant pis... it will wait for next month!
Sophie ARSAC - FRENCH SOS - French tuition (one to one or
via the internet), translation, administrative help -
scarolinea@yahoo.fr - Tél 05 55 89 15 74
Article No. 10
Having nothing to say or having too much to say is about the same. You don’t know where you should start. Sometimes it is easier to follow the flow of your thoughts...
DUPOND ET DUPONT – THOMSON AND THOMPSON
I am looking after some English friends’animals at the moment, they’ve got sheep (des moutons), poultry (volaille) and pigs (les cochons). I love the 2 pigs. They are like twins, so I call them “Dupond et Dupont”, like the characters from "Tintin": "Thomson and Thompson" in English, the 2 incompetent detectives who look like twins even if they are unrelated: the only way to discern them is to look at the shape of their moustache. They both wear bowler hats (des chapeaux melon) and walking sticks (des canes), except when they are abroad as they then tend to wear local costumes when they travel in order not "to be spotted"... ! They are afflicted with spoonerisms so they make themselves even more ridiculous.
Which leads me to talk about ...
LE LAPSUS – THE LANGUAGE SLIP
“Un lapsus” (pronounce the S at the end) is simply a slip of the tongue (called “un lapsus linguae”) or a slip of the pen (called “un lapsus calami”). The Freudian slip is "un lapsus révélateur". It is an involuntary mistake made while writing or speaking and according to Freud, it is a mistake that hides an unconscious desire. Like "the lord is a shoving leopard" (instead of “the lord is a loving shepherd”), “I am going to shake a tower” (for “I am going to take a shower”) or "a rental deceptionist" (instead of “dental receptionist").
In French, it could be "Avez-vous peur d'une érection volcanique?" instead of "Avez-vous peur d'une éruption volcanique"? (“Are you frightened of an erupting volcano?”).
The prime minister, Gordon Brown, was commemorating Omaha Beach (the code name for one of the D-day landing beaches on June 6 1944) and he said “Obama Beach!”.
During one of the hustings for the USA presidential election in 2008, John McCain adressed the public. He meant to say "fellow-citizens" (concitoyens) and instead said "fellow prisoners" (co-détenus). Maintaining the Bush tradition!
I went to the restaurant with an English friend yesterday who did not know what a “salade de gésiers” was....
LE PERIGORD, LA SALADE ET LE GESIER - PERIGORD AREA, THE SALAD AND THE GIZZARD
Next to the Limousin, the Périgord area is in the department of Dordogne. It is divided into 4 Périgords: le Périgord Vert (Green Perigord), le Périgord Blanc (White Perigord), le Périgord Pourpre (Purple Perigord) and le Périgord Noir (Black Perigord).
The “Périgord Noir” takes its name from the very dark colour of the oak trees but not as some people like to believe the truffle (sometimes called black diamond because of its price on the open market). The “Périgord Pourpre” is named after the colour of the vineyards which cover the hills. The “Périgord Vert” takes its name from the emerald forests of the area. The “Périgord Blanc” takes its name from the chalky soils.
Dordogne is home to spectacular natural sites, historic monuments and gastronomy. Among famous culinary specialties such as Foie Gras and Truffles, there is the "Salade Périgourdine".
There are different ways to prepare the “Salade Périgourdine” but it is often served as follows: lettuce (laitue), slices of smoked breast of duck (magret de canard fumé), cooked or preserved sliced duck giblets (confit de gésiers de canard), sometimes foie gras (fat liver!), oil (l’huile) and walnuts (les noix) or chesnuts (les chataîgnes).
Le gésier (gizzard) is the thick-walled part of a bird's stomach, in which hard food is broken down by muscular action and contact with grit and small stones. “Gésiers” are commonly preserved (confits) and are used prominently in salad dishes. They are tender and full of flavour: try them if you haven't done so yet !
I have guests tomorrow evening... What could I prepare?
LES FONDUES SAVOYARDE, BOURGUIGNONNE ET CREUSOISE
They are both Swiss even if called "Bourguignonne" (from Bourgogne région called Burgundy in English) and Savoyarde (from the Savoie region in France).
Fondue means melted from the verb "to melt": fondre.
Fondue Savoyarde – Cheese fondue
It is a copy of the Swiss fondue and is made from a combination of two or three melted cheeses with very different character, white wine (le vin blanc) and Kirsch. The cheeses (les fromages) are often Emmental, Beaufort and Comté.
As the fondue dish with a burner is placed in the middle of the table, this is a very convivial meal that allows you to get together and chat with your friends without having to spend all your time in the kitchen.
Fondue Bourguignonne - Beef Fondue
Tender thinly-sliced pieces of raw beef are cooked in oil then dipped in flavourful sauces.
Fondue Creusoise – Creusoise fondue
This is a Creusoise specialty, particularly dietetic! It is generally made with old pieces of melted Camembert with milk and flour and served with chips (les frites)!
Today I am writing my tenth article for Creuse News ... An article per month....
MENSUEL - MONTHLY
“Mensuel” means "monthly" and “bimensuel” means “twice-monthly”.
“Quotidien” means daily, like “a daily newspaper” (un journal quotidien). "Bread and butter" is translated by "le pain quotidien", literally "the daily bread".
“Hebdomadaire” simply means "weekly" like” a weekly newspaper” (un hebdomadaire).
“Bihebdomadaire” means "twice-weekly".
The word “hebdomadaire” sounds very much like “dromadaire”....
LES “CAMEL” ET LES “GITANES”
Everybody knows the cigarettes “Camel”. A camel is "un chameau” and a dromedary is "un dromadaire". As everybody should know, the dromedary camel has only one hump whereas the bactrian camel has got two humps. As I would say “Un chalumeau est un dromaludaire à deux bosses!». Don’t try to fathom this…
Un "gitan" is a gypsy and “une gitane” is the feminine form of “gitan”. That explains the name of the famous cigarettes "GITANES" which means "gypsy women". On the famous blue pack, you can see a silhouette of a gypsy woman with a tambourine .
Alors là, je sens que je pète les plombs....Well now I feel I am going nuts...
OUAF OUAF ET COIN COIN
“Ouaf ouaf” is the French for “woof woof”, “coâ coâ” is the French for “ribbit ribbit”, “coin coin” is the French for quack quack and “groin groin” is the French “oink oink”.
Talk to you next month!
Sophie ARSAC – FRENCH SOS – French tuition, translation, administrative help –
scarolinea@yahoo.fr – Tél 05 55 89 15 74
SOPHIE with a serious subject...
You should skip this page if you want some fun. However and unhappily I am pretty convinced that one day you will feel concerned by the following matter- directly or indirectly – I am talking about “the stroke” or “l’attaque cérébrale” in French.
Even if life can be good on the whole - more particularly at meal times – it seems impossible to escape from dark moments: this idea that you need to get through black to enjoy white annoys me terribly. Do we really need some rain to enjoy the sun? Can we really enjoy a rest if we haven’t worked hard before? Why should we get a few smacks to make sure we will apppreciate a caress?
Life often starts like a funny adventure in which you are in control. You feel so powerful, nothing can really destroy you. The pace of time seems far too slow. How can you stay a teenager such a long time when the world needs you? You mainly look in front of you, your past is so tiny.
Then your future shrinks as the years pass. At last you look behind you and you now realise that you became a mixture of hopes but also of memories. The white memories help you to go on and the black memories can be so painful.
Last week a friend of mine slammed the door of life, like my mum did 2 years and a half ago. I had not known him for long, just a couple of years but his company was always a great source of pleasure for me as he, his wife and his son were a constant source of kindness and knowledge. Retired teachers, the couple were travelling all around the world, their pockets full of books and curiosity for their environment.
He died suddenly from a C.V.A (Cerebral Vascular Accident), more commonly called a stroke. He was not as lucky as Charlie, Julia Dunbar’s partner, who was a recent victim of this terrible disease and is recovering well today.
This scary word “stroke” is on everyone’s lips as it is one of the major reasons for death in the world but who knows exactly what it is? I conducted some research and wish to share my new knowledge with you. This text is not validated by a doctor.
Strokes are the leading cause of adult disability in the United States and Europe. In the UK, it is the second most common cause of death, the first being heart attacks and third being cancer. It is the number two cause of death worldwide.
In French, the expression "Attaque d'apoplexie" is now outdated. We talk now of "Attaque cérébrale" or "Accident Vasculaire Cérébral - A.V.C".
In English it is called "stroke" or "seizure" or "Cerebral Vascular Accident - C.V.A".
It is often fatal, sometimes resulting in recovery with partial paralysis. It all depends on the severity of the stroke.
The stroke consists of a sudden loss of consciousness resulting when the rupture or occlusion of a blood vessel (un vaisseau sanguin) leads to a lack of oxygen to the brain (le cerveau).
You can feel the lack of oxygen (l’oxygène) when you stand up too quickly and become dizzy, due to the reduction of blood flow.
Without oxygen, nerve cells (les cellules nerveuses ou neurones) in the affected area of the brain can't work properly and die within minutes, sometimes a bit longer, according to the extent of the lack of blood supply. When nerve cells are dead, the part of the body they control can't work either. The bad news is that dead brain cells cannot be replaced. It can affect the senses, the motor activity, speech or the ability to understand speech and modify the personality of the victim.
There are two main types of stroke. The ischemic stroke –the most common type as it accounts for around 80 % of all strokes- is caused by blockage of a blood vessel and the other – called haemorrhagic stroke- is caused by bleeding.
THE ISCHEMIC STROKE - “L’A.V.C ISTHEMIQUE”
This occurs when a blood clot (un caillot de sang) blocks blood flow in an artery bringing blood to part of the brain, usually in arteries damaged by fatty buildups.
Thrombotic stroke – La thrombose.
When the blood clot forms within an artery (une artère) of the brain, it's called a thrombotic stroke.
These often occur at night or first thing in the morning. Another distinguishing feature is that very often they're preceded by a Transient Ischemic Attack, also called a T.I.A (Accident Ischémique Transitoire - AIT). or "warning stroke." TIAs have the same symptoms of a stroke but only last a few minutes.
As the blood flows through the arteries, it may leave a buildup of fatty deposits and cholesterol. These plaques can increase in size and narrow or block the artery and stop blood getting through.
Embolic Stroke – L’A.V.C. embolique
If a blood clot forms somewhere in the body (usually the heart) or in the carotides, the arteries irrigating the neck (les carotides), it can travel through the bloodstream to the brain. When the clot circulates through a blood vessel with a too small diameter, it gets stuck and stops the blood flow.
THE HAEMORRHAGIC STROKE – “L’A.V.C HEMORRAGIQUE”
Strokes caused by a break in the wall of a blood vessel in the brain are called haemorrhagic strokes. This causes blood to leak into the brain, again stopping the delivery of oxygen and nutrients. Bleeding strokes have a much higher death rate than strokes caused by blood clots.
There are two types of cerebral haemorrhage:
Subarachnoid haemorrhage
This occurs when a blood vessel on the brain's surface ruptures and bleeds into the space between the brain and the skull (le crâne) (but not into the brain itself).
A cerebral haemorrhage
This occurs when a diseased artery (usually a very small one) in the brain bursts, flooding the surrounding tissue with blood.
Haemorrhage (or bleeding) from an artery in the brain can be caused by the bursting of a small blood vessel or a ruptured aneurysm (une rupture d’anévrisme). Aneurysms are blood-filled pouches that balloon out from weak spots in the artery wall. They're often caused or made worse by high blood pressure (l’hypertension).
PREVENTION – LA PREVENTION
Quitting smoking, limiting alcohol, eating healthy and being physically active will reduce your chances of having a stroke.
Some factors such as age (3/4 of the victims are over 65 years) or a family history of strokes cannot be controlled. Other factors can be reduced: high blood pressure (l’hypertension), tobacco use (la consommation de tabac), diabetes (le diabète), carotid or other artery disease (maladie des carotides or artères), atrial fibrillation or other heart disease (fibrillation atriale ou autres maladies cardiaques), previous stroke or T.I.A (Transient Ischemic Attack, also called mini-strokes) (précédentes attaques cérébrales ou A.I.T), a high red blood cell count (taux élevé de globules rouges), sickle cell anaemia (drépanocytose), high blood cholesterol (taux élevé de cholestérol), physical inactivity (inactivité physique), overweight and obesity (surpoids et obésité), excessive alcohol intake and some illegal drugs (consommation excessive d’alcool et de drogues).
THE F.A.S.T TEST – OU COMMENT RECONNAITRE LES SIGNES D’UNE ATTAQUE CEREBRALE
Sudden weakness of the face, arm or leg, sudden troubles in vision, sudden loss of balance or coordination and severe headache with no known causes should be an indication.
There is an easy way to recognise and remember the signs of a stroke – It involves three questions :
* Face – Check their face. Has their mouth drooped?
* Son visage: est-ce que sa langue pend?
* Arms – Can they lift both arms?
* Ses bras : peut-il lever les deux bras?
* Speech – Is their speech slurred? Do they understand you?
* Troubles du langage : A-t’il du mal à articuler ? Comprend-il ce que vous dites ?
* Time – Time is critical. If you see any of these signs call the emergency services straight away.
* Le facteur temps est essentiel. Dès que l’on suspecte un AVC, il faut immédiatement alerter le SAMU.
Reminder – Emergency Health Numbers in France
Samu (15), Pompiers (18), European Emergency number : (112).
After a stroke, the sentence is not always death but secondary effects are often very serious and upset many lives. Being able to spot the first symptoms or trying to reduce them by prevention is essential. Like all the tools we can grab to improve our life and help us to get as close as possible to happiness.
Talk to you next month. Hopefully I will be in one of those “white moments”...
Sophie ARSAC – FRENCH SOS – French tuition (one to one or via the internet), translation, administrative help –
scarolinea@yahoo.fr – Tél 05 55 89 15 74
